“I don’t want to go away somewhere for two weeks” was the statement from my daughter that caught me off guard. I was surprised and kind of relieved to hear her say that. It was in my response to asking her if she had talked with mommy about going to a sleep away camp this summer.
My ex, through emails, informed me that she and her husband had put in the request to a sleep away camp for my 2 daughters’ ages 10 & 8 to attend for a 2 week period during the summer. When I first read it I thought my ex has once again lost her mind. My girls had never been away from either one of us for any period of time. The longest was a 2 night class trip for the oldest. Two nights was enough to give me pause but after hearing that it was with the school and chaperon and her desire to be with her classmates and the fact that it was only a couple of days – I was able to get a grip on the situation and feel ok about having her go. I didn’t really have much of a choice anyway not just because my daughter was looking so forward to it, but because I am not the custodial parent. What right did I have to say anything about it. Read the rest of this entry »
Buy Dan a Beer!
The only ones that make out in a divorce are the lawyers. You’ve heard this over and over again. You assume it to be true but don’t really know why. After all, you know your lawyer’s rate. They provide detailed billing of everything. They only work on the things you and the court say they should. Then if there is so much control on them, how can things get so expensive?
The simple answer is that it relies on how cooperative you and your soon to be ex are with each other.
You see the court doesn’t want to have to make any decisions for you. Remember that the court is only seeing you for 10 minutes at a time and you are probably 1 out of a hundred couples that the court will be dealing with that day.
They expect that you, your ex and the lawyers will work out all the details and bring to the court an agreed upon settlement for the court to sign off on and then they are done and you two go on your merry way. Read the rest of this entry »
Buy Dan a Beer!
You would think that after almost 4 years I would be getting closer to the end of the divorce saga. The way I have to look at it now is, it will NEVER be over. Recently my ex-wife has gone back to using the only thing she has a little control over me with - the kids. “I will not allow you to see them or talk to them” was what she told me a few days ago on the phone and then she put in writing in an email.
“She can’t do that” you say? “The court won’t allow it” you think? Well … your right I guess but what can you really do about it. I contacted my lawyer, who wrote up a letter to opposing council. That was 4 days ago and here it is - Saturday morning - and I’m sitting here at the computer writing this instead of taking requests for breakfast because I wasn’t allowed to come get the kids.
Read the rest of this entry »
Buy Dan a Beer!
What are your rates for babysitting? That’s the question I was asking of my 7 & 8 year olds babysitter. You would think I would know the figure, but being the non-custodial parent – I only know what the custodial parent tells me. Sometimes I check on what she tells me, especially when it comes to money.
You see my ex has this bad habit of inflating the actual figures as a way to get me to pay more than what is necessary. You would think that it is easy to verify if she pays by check, but the problem there is that my ex had worked a few deals with her tenants that she would write them a check for “babysitting” fees and they were to cash/ deposit the checks and return the cash back to her. This way she had a “receipt” for court purposes and it would be difficult if not impossible for me to dispute. Read the rest of this entry »
Buy Dan a Beer!
It’s Friday evening and I called my ex to speak with my kids. It’s my son’s birthday. He’s seven years old today. The ex answered even though my number comes up on the caller ID. She can never just hand the phone over to the kids like I do when the kids are with me and I see her number come up on my phone.
She has to be in control at all times and does that to let me know that if she feels like it, she won’t let me talk with them. I believe she is also trying to impress her new husband with how civil she can be on the phone by responding to me with a “hold on and I’ll get them.” The poor schmuck doesn’t realize that if he wasn’t sitting there she would be spewing insults and threats at me until she finally felt that she had vented enough and then she would hang up and I wouldn’t get to speak with the kids at all. I guess in one way, I’m glad the new hubby is around some of the time as he sort of keeps the Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde in check. Read the rest of this entry »
Buy Dan a Beer!