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The only ones that make out in a divorce are the lawyers. You’ve heard this over and over again. You assume it to be true but don’t really know why. After all, you know your lawyer’s rate. They provide detailed billing of everything. They only work on the things you and the court say they should. Then if there is so much control on them, how can things get so expensive?

The simple answer is that it relies on how cooperative you and your soon to be ex are with each other.

You see the court doesn’t want to have to make any decisions for you. Remember that the court is only seeing you for 10 minutes at a time and you are probably 1 out of a hundred couples that the court will be dealing with that day.

They expect that you, your ex and the lawyers will work out all the details and bring to the court an agreed upon settlement for the court to sign off on and then they are done and you two go on your merry way. Read the rest of this entry »

You would think that after almost 4 years I would be getting closer to the end of the divorce saga. The way I have to look at it now is, it will NEVER be over. Recently my ex-wife has gone back to using the only thing she has a little control over me with - the kids. “I will not allow you to see them or talk to them” was what she told me a few days ago on the phone and then she put in writing in an email.

“She can’t do that” you say? “The court won’t allow it” you think? Well … your right I guess but what can you really do about it. I contacted my lawyer, who wrote up a letter to opposing council. That was 4 days ago and here it is - Saturday morning - and I’m sitting here at the computer writing this instead of taking requests for breakfast because I wasn’t allowed to come get the kids.

Read the rest of this entry »